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I grew up blissfully ignorant to the impact a father imposes when he is permanently around his son. And I was blessed with an endless, perhaps annoying for some people, optimism towards life. it doesn’t matter the situation; I gravitate towards positivity.
On February 1st my wife kissed me goodbye and headed to a two-week Army course called, MLC. She left me with two cute but mischievous canines that I love more than they can even comprehend. It was not difficult to take care of them. Dogs are simple creatures. Just feed them, take them for walks and in their needy cases, snuggle with them while you enjoy a good T.V show.
Despite being surrounded by these two precious dogs, her absence felt as if she went into a black hole that caused her time to slow down. Every day for her felt like a week for me. Psychological time perception, while you are missing a loved one, can be as disturbing as real time dilation.
The Army has a reputation among its Soldiers for condensing a four-year course into a two-to-four-week class. Needless to say, my wife’s days were saturated by ninety percent of information she would not retain in the next few days after her graduation. We chatted less than usual, and she was exhausted. The dogs started to miss her but no more than me.
Halfway through her curse, she called me and told me she needed to tell me something, but she couldn’t over the phone. Which begs the question, why would she call me to tell me that in the first place? ha-ha. If you were to tell me something so important in person, I think it is best if you wait until you are in person to tell. But she had to torture me. Ha-ha.
Days passed, and that thought would be tattooed on my brain. What is it that she can’t tell me over the phone? As a normal human being, you begin to play different scenarios. The worst play first, of course.
I asked a few times to tell me what it was, but she insisted that I had to wait.
A few days before she graduated, she told me she didn’t feel so good. Food was causing her nausea, hot flashes, headaches among other things. I simply thought she was getting sick, or she had food poisoning. It never crossed my mind at what she was probably hinting at.
Days after graduation she stayed with a very close friend of hers and I had to wait three more days to see her cute face. We had agreed upon this already but by the time she graduated I was ready to have her home. She continued to feel sick, and I continued to be clueless.
Three days after her graduation and many health complaints she was ready to hop on that plane that would lead her straight to my arms.
“Baby, I landed 20 minutes early.” She texted.
I foreshadowed her flight getting in early, so I asked my mother if I could have lunch with her and wait for my wife, since she leaves about 10 minutes from the airport.
“Alright babe, I am on my way.” I texted back with a huge smile on my face. I missed her.
On my way there, I blasted my music as I usually do. Singing my lungs out, beaming with joy. It has been an eternity since last time I saw her, or so it felt like it.
I arrived at the airport and the anticipation was scorching my insides. The airport “pick-up” area was packed, and it would be a few minutes until I could get to her.
After a few minutes, I finally was able to get to her. I put the truck in park, hazardous lights on and hurried to hug her and kissed her.
She looked distinctively smiley; I was discernibly clueless.
On the way home, I mistakenly mixed up her dazzling smile for excitement of seeing me as we talked about her two weeks away.
When we got home, I ran towards the bathroom. My mothers’ delicious Mexican foods and its shenanigans can be unpleasant for the intestines. Haha.
After a few moments I walked out of the bathroom and my wife called me from the living room, “Baby, where are you?”
I walked through the hallway and there she is holding something with a huge smile on her face.
At first, I thought it was a thermometer. Because she has been claiming she has been feeling sick for two weeks. As I got closer, I realized I have been embarrassingly clueless to the situation.
It was a pregnancy test, showing me, we were pregnant with you.
You that are the love of my life even if you are the size of a raspberry and your heart its barely developed.
You that are already pushing me to be better, and work harder to make you proud of me.
You that regardless of what gender you may be, a boy or a girl, I already love you more than life itself.
I am ready to give you the tools you will need to take on the world.
I will show you that right path to pursue happiness. Hopefully, you will walk it with me.
I will support your dreams; your goals and I will push you to do and be better than me.
Today, during your mom’s first ultrasound a feeling so strong filled up every cell in my body as I saw your 2.2-centimeter body and your heartbeat go 175 beats per minute. An ineffable feeling that provokes tears, but you ignore exactly why, engulfed my heart and bliss encapsulated me silencing the world outside.
You will not grow up blissfully ignorant to what it is to have a father around you day in and day out. Because I promise you everything that I have and everything that I am, is yours forever.
I love you.
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