I have been absent from the keyboard for months, not because I did not have time (close friends and family know that I would never use such a cheap excuse) but because my mind was busy with other beautiful things happening in my life and I chose to spend more time enjoying them. But a man has a duty to keep the grind going.
As I revealed a few months back, my life was about to improve due to the fact that my beautiful wife was cooking a tiny angel in her womb. And October 6th, 2023, was the day. 5:58 a.m. was the time that she made her way into this world.
The morning of, after I came back from the gym, my wife told me that she had had a rough night. Cramping had started and they were intensifying. With a hand on her lower abdomen and a hunch over posture she said, “Luna may be coming today.” To which I took lightly at first because she had said that same thing a few times before. But this time it did seem different.
We continued with our morning routine of waking up our niece, taking showers, making breakfast, taking my niece to school, and drinking a cup of coffee together before leaving for work. As we walked to the car, I noticed that she walked much slower, and her face was puckering in pain. She said “Baby, I am pretty sure Lunita will be here today.” To which I responded with a smile, “Well, let me know if cramps intensify.” I hugged her, gave her a kiss, touched her belly, and said bye to Luna.
While at work, her contractions were more frequent, and they were lasting longer. She decided to go home early and around 4 p.m. she texted me that she may be in early labor. Which can mean many things to a man.
Without a second thought, I rushed home.
When I got home and rushed to the living room, I saw her sitting on the sofa with her hand on her belly and the cellphones on the coffee table with an app open that helps her track her contractions, from how intense they are to how often. A few moments later the app suggested that we get ready to go into the hospital. My wife hurried and called the clinic that we have been going to for checkups and explained her situation. The doctor says, “Yes, come in, I can hear it in your voice, that baby is ready to come.”
We had basically everything packed and ready in the truck, it was just a question of a few minutes before we were on our way.
We rushed to the hospital, finally made it to the place we were supposed to go and luckily, they told us that we were being admitted. Luna was close.
By October 5th at 7 p.m. we were in the room where she was gonna give birth. Every few hours nurses were checking how dilated she was, and I was just learning so much in the process. The only question neither the nurse nor the doctor could answer is how do babies know they are ready to push? How do they know is time to get out of there. Apparently is a mystery to us.
It took about 8 hours of contractions and pain to get her opening to 10 cm dilatated. And even after that she wanted to wait a little longer to start Luna’s journey to our reality.
By 4:45 a.m. it was time to start pushing.
To be honest, I showed as much composure as I could to show my wife that she will always have a man that does not “crumble” under pressure, I always want to make sure she knows she has a rock to lean on in her most vulnerable times, but I can confess that inside I was battling fear of the uncertainty, and the bad possibilities. But that is exactly how a man shows strength. It does not matter how hard and scary it gets you are there supporting your spouse, your family, and friends.
The young nurse explained to me what I was going to do to help my wife go through the delivery. And I was absolutely ready for it. It is not everyday that you witness a new life emerging into this world.
“You are gonna help by moving her leg back every contraction when she is required to push.”
I nodded in confirmation.
“And every time she is done and needs to relax, we will move it a few inches forward and rest it on these stands.”
Around 4:50 a.m. when a contraction came, we started the push.
Deep breaths (from both of us) and she started pushing. The nurse started counting from two all the way to ten. My wife would take another deep breath and repeat the process two more times. Then she would take a break until the next contraction came.
By the 5th attempt, in the monitor, I noticed that my baby’s heartbeat started to drop to 65 bpm, and I was not sure if it was normal or not until the young nurse started moving my wife around to bring Luna’s heartbeat up. Then I knew something was wrong. And I started to feel true terror. My baby’s tiny heart rate was dropping fast. The young nurse managed to bring her heartbeat up but for the next 4 consecutives set of pushes, Luna’s heartbeat kept dropping and this is when about four nurses rushed into the delivery room and one of them kindly moved me from my wife’s side and took my spot.
Fear wanted to subdue my body, but I did not let it. I needed it to stay strong for my wife.
The delivery room was full, we barely fit in there and after a few attempts from the nurses to keep Luna’s heartbeat up, the doctor walked in.
She came in with an unmatched confidence. All the nurses combined could not reach the credence she irradiated it to me and my wife. After a few moments, and using all her years of schooling and experience, the doctor managed to maintain Luna’s heartbeat up. And then, my soul was caressed by a warm wind of calmness I have never felt before.
After the situation was seemly under control, a few nurses left the room, and I was asked to get back to the job the young nurse gave me. And I kept supporting my wife delivering our Luna.
“Push baby, I can see her head!” My eyes were teeming with tears of love, joy happiness, wonder and every good feeling that you can feel.
A few moments later, the doctor put on her blue gown, gloves, mask and located a bucket right under my wife. Luna was close!
In the last push, Luna had her debut view day, and I teared as I saw her complete and heard her first cry.
They cleaned her up quickly and gave it to mom to get her first snuggles.
My wife and I were so proud. I kissed her on the forehead and told her how great of job she did. Luna is beautiful.
A few minutes later, I cut Luna’s umbilical cord.
I became a father.
It has been three weeks, today, since my Lunita was born. And I have heard many statements of how hard it is to deal with a newborn. However, I have not found it to be that difficult. Given, Luna has been amazing overall, sleeping well and waking up to a schedule for the most part.
Once we started to fall into a new routine, life has not really been hard with Luna.
Perhaps, it could be just me. And yes, in many ways is easier for men to say this. I understand that women, especially those that breastfeed, may stay awake longer at night feeding, but I, as a father, have been helping with the extra feeding with the bottle and cleaning many of her diapers. Even that one she, somehow, kicked below her waist and her back was smeared with poop. It was a mess, lol.
One strange phenomenon for me is that before, when I would have a bad night’s sleep, I would feel extremely tired the next day, but waking up for Luna two to three times a night has not affected me the same way. I feel more normal. The tiredness from before Luna to after Luna is completely different. Perhaps, it is something biological, I do not know. Perhaps, my brain and body are hardwired to keep alert and aware of my surroundings for my offspring’s safety and my wife’s recovery. I am able to keep going to the gym without losing my strength, and I am able to function pretty normally so far at work.
It is ineffable and it was probably an absolute waste of time to try to explain to you the feeling I experienced while I saw my daughter pushing her way into this world. It is a feeling way above “love.”
That is the kind of feeling every human being should experience. Ultimately, women and men were put in this world to find each other and procreate it. Much of our happiness lies in the fact that we can see our offspring being born, teach him or her the world to the best of our ability and most importantly to keep them safe from any danger. We were not born to be selfish. We are born to be givers. To help others. To leave behind a legacy of succor.
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