How can an atheist say, “I am so blessed,” without sounding overly religious?
Especially when his entire family for generations has been inordinately full of believers. And the word has been fundamentally and stubbornly pious.
Either way, religious or not, and as the stubborn atheist that I am, I am going to use it to describe everything that has happened in my life in the past four years. Not everything has been good, but the majority that matters has.
Let’s start with some of the worst.
Today November 3rd is the day the man I respect the most was born, my grandfather. Unfortunately, four years ago, on December 23th 2019, he passed away, and it did not matter how terribly I wanted to be there to tell him how much love and respect I had for him, destiny, or fate or whatever you would like to call it, made it impossible for me to be there. I was in the Middle East defending who knows what and only the universe knows who. I was devastated. Feeling like the most impotent man on the planet, but it was just out of my hands. I couldn’t be there to say goodbye, nor for my family for emotional support. All I could do was to write a song that was born out of pain in my soul and send it to my family, so they knew how much I was missing him and them.
My mother played the song at the end of the memorial service and recorded the reactions of family and friends. It warmed my heart. It made me feel as If I was there.
I also dedicated the book I was writing at the time to him and wrote,
Papa David, you loved to write songs and poems. You loved politics, and you knew a little about everything as I, amazed, listened to you talk after I asked you a question. It didn’t matter the topic; you had information on it. I know that I inherited the pen that you used to write songs with and that you also transferred the idiosyncratic inspiration and creativity that keeps forging inside me.
This book is for you.
In the beloved memory of David Pineda Ortiz
“No te la acabes toda; dejame la mitad.”
Nov 3rd, 1930 – Dec 23, 2019
I am a non-believer. But I do believe his energy and wisdom is still flowing throughout the universe and drizzling over me to write the way I do.
He was there when I was born, right outside the delivery room, waiting hours for my arrival.
He was there disciplining me when needed. And as mischievous as I was, I needed it a lot.
He was there teaching me about the world in his own way.
We sold newspapers and drinks on the street together.
He would make fun of my love of watching men hitting a ball and running back and forth on T.V. for the score to end 0-0.
He was there talking to me about politics and Mexican history. He was so smart.
He woke up every day around 4 a.m. for his morning runs.
He was there and I was not.
Papa David, I miss you so much.
I was blessed to have had you as a father and as a grandfather growing up.
Happy Birthday.
For someone that is not religious and discovered its atheism in his late 20’s I consider myself one of the most blessed people on the planet.
Everything that has happened to me, I see it as a blessing. The good, the bad and the ugly. There is a simple reason to see everything as a blessing. And that reason is that everything, every single thing that has happened to me and to you has formed me and you. You are a product of the things that happen in your life and your reactions to them.
The people that we meet? Blessings.
The people that we meet and leave? Blessings.
The people that leave you before knowing you? Blessings
Take for instance, my biological father. I ignore the reasons he left my mother before I was born. And to be honest, I am uninterested in finding out any of those reasons. I was blessed to have a strong sixteen-year-old mother that was blessed to have a great mother and father herself that supported us when we needed them the most. My grandfather told my mother, “Daughter, do not worry. You did not fall in love with a man, you fell in love with an asshole. We are here for you.” This was on top of the other 11 children they had themselves and some other grandkids there and on the way.
My grandfather was the real deal. A stubborn, tough Mexican soldier with a lot of heart. And I want to believe I inherited that from him as well.
Blessed.
I met my wife four years ago, and since then I have felt a change in my life. An improvement that has been showing throughout the years after. That for the simple fact that she supports me like no other in everything I do. And not just by saying, “I love your writing, your drawings, your songs or your business adventures,” but because she gets so involved in them without being intrusive, perse.
She is, without trying to sound cliché, my number one fan, my mother and father there along with her.
Our love produced one of my our most precious creations and what I consider my biggest success. Knowing nothing will be able to top it. The birth of my Luna.
As I stated in my last blog, Luna is more than love. She is above all feelings. A feeling in its own category. She is a feeling that is and forever will be ineffable. She is my biggest blessing. And I will protect her with my life if necessary.
A few months ago, for reasons I will keep undisclosed, I received an unexpected call from my wife. Her thirteen-year-old niece needed a place to stay permanently, and she asked me if I was okay with her niece coming to our home and living with us. And without hesitation I said, “Of course, she is family.” Is that even a question? She was a child that needed immediate help and we must be there for her.
My grandfather helped my mother when she needed him the most and my stepfather was the father that stepped up for me and my sister. It would be absolutely outrageous for me and hypocritical to deny this child a place to call home.
I became, in a way, a father before my daughter was born, and it felt very natural. I was instantly excited to help this teenager with school and forming her way to becoming a productive adult with a lot of ambition and dreams. I know that she is my niece, and I am her uncle, but ultimately my role is that of a father and I intend to fulfil it the best I can. Just the same way I will do for Luna. They are both my daughters.
Blessed.
Life is beautiful. I have always seen life this way. Since I can remember.
Everything that happens. Every situation, good, bad, and ugly. Every person you met. Those who stay and those who leave. Those who love you and those who hurt you. Those who inspire you and those who bully you (and oh boy, I got bullied as kid alright) Everything, you must see it as a blessing because life is molding you. And if you cannot deal with the difficulties that life throws at you, you will not deserve the good and amazing things life is capable of also giving you. Use every aspect of life to grow, to learn, to become wiser.
As for me, as the Atheist I am, I will keep seeing every single tangent life throws at me as a blessing and an opportunity to better myself as a human being to help my fellow human beings better themselves.
If the believers in my family are right and my grandfather is in some kind of heaven living an eternal life, I hope he can see me from up there and be proud of the man I have become. And I hope he can also see how beautiful his granddaughter is. Because he has no idea how much pain inflicts that knowing how caring he was, he was not able to see my first born.
Grandfather, wherever you are, in heaven or just as energy flowing in the universe, I miss you so much.
Happy Birthday, Papa David.
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